Humorous stories

[TerryH]

I'm starting this as a means for a laugh and possible a way to ignore winter for a few minutes.
This is a post I made a year and a half ago:


"Appliances, Electronics & LP Gas / Norcold 462 Fridge and wasps
« on: August 02, 2014, 06:50 PM »
I have a problem that I am sure a lot of you may find humorous, but I need help. During a hot spell I noticed that the fridge did not seem to be cooling as before. Turned the cooling up, but not a noticeable difference. (120VAC for the last few months). Stays cold, but no noticeable increase. During my regular roof check today I saw a large number of wasps entering and exiting the fridge roof top exhaust vent. Nesting? Duh.
Problem is that wasps, hornets and I have this agreement : we hate each other.
Similar to my agreement with fire ants.
Question is, any suggestions as to how I can "kill" those in and the nest in the vent and ensure no others try to enter while I remove the vent, clear the nest, vacuum it out and screen the vent? Ideally, without me waving my hands around and falling off the roof.
Key word here is "kill".
However, if I can stun them for 3 - 4 hours, fine.
To help with understanding the agreement between me and stinging insects, a number of years ago I had a Bee? enter under the face mask on my Motorcycle helmet while I was passing a VW van. Of course, I flung the helmet off, it hit the driver's window of the van, I lost control of my bike, it ended up on it's side under the van with me sliding along holding on to the handlebars.

The Bee?
Went on it's merry way, laughing as it did.

Thanks for any help.

Terry"

I had to copy and paste this so I'll make a second post with a reply that Rick (Rick1985) PM'd me. Used with his permission

[TerryH]

Rick's reply - funnier by far:


"Your bee in helmet story
« Sent to: TerryH  on: August 03, 2014, 09:28 AM » 
« You have forwarded or responded to this message. »
Reply

I had to laugh at your mention of the bee in the helmet, I hope you were all right. I had exactly the same thing happen to me without the accident but my helmet smashed the windshield of the State Police cruiser that was following me! The Trooper was NOT happy!!! The only thing that saved my bacon was that the big arsed hornet did not fly away and was still imbedded in the helmet padding when we finally found the helmet a half mile away. You should have seen the paperwork I had to fill out on that one. The Trooper explained that it would be his butt if he did not have a viable explanation for a smashed windshield. Even had a supervisor come out and inspect the helmet with attached hornet. All said and done we all had a laugh about it while I extracted the still alive and pissed off hornet from the helmet padding. Didn't really feel right putting that helmet back on, of coarse it was a little worse for wear and it did crack so I had to replace it. I guess the helmet worked, the hornet lived through a smashed windshield.

[TerryH]

And Joan (JoanFenn) Offered this - all began in a Gear Box discussion. This is hilarious:



http://lifeisaroad.com/stories/2004/10/29/neighborhoodHazardorWhyTheCopsWontPatrolBriceStreet.html