Proper introduction

[Old Man Powell]

Per my earlier post, we just got a 74 Chieftain. As usual I had to send out a mass email to friends/family explaining the latest addition to the family. I was told I should post this. So, here ya go. All of this is "tongue and cheek" of course...

Ladies and Gentlemen, kids of all ages, I give you “Rooster!” The majestic, retro beauty is a 1974 Winnebago Chieftain. That my friends, equates to 27 feet of camping and tailgating bliss. Crammed full with all the amenities of home, you’ll never want to sleep in your crummy vinyl siding track home again. But don’t just take my work for it, let’s dive into the details.

This graceful nymph rest on a Dodge RM400 chassis, forged from the same steel as the "Iron Side” giants of the civil war. At a mere (approximate) 13,000 lbs, you will glide down the road capable of squashing any sub compact vehicle with the greatest of ease. And with Winnebago’s patented “Steel Core” technology, you’ll feel safe rubbing tires and trading paint with that school bus racing you on the way to the Zoo. Hey Timmy, I’ve got your field trip right here you booger eating brat (cue laughter and applause). But seriously folks, you’ll leave that school bus in the dust with the power from you big block Dodge 440 engine. Yeah, it’s got a hemi (not really). And when Bambi becomes enthralled by your crisp Sylvania headlights, you can stop on a dime… a dime with 2 mile diameter… with your one of a kind hydrovac brake system that is more confusing than a 20 minute conversation with a 2 year old jacked up on chocolate.

With its graceful lines and brick wall front end, this recreational vehicle will be an eye catcher for all your neighbors, especially when it’s parked in your driveway beyond the 72 hour limit strictly enforced by your homeowners association. And be sure to lock your cars, cause they will all be parked on the street as this beauty takes up your entire driveway.

On the inside enjoy all the comforts of home… toilet… microwave… refrigerator… TV… DVD player… and pump out the tunes with your original Motorola 8-track in dash radio. In the back have dinner with the family while you sit around the table with full wrap around seating. And at night turn it into a full bed big enough for 3 adults or two adults and two midgets. Behind the driver’s compartment enjoy the road with a full bench seat that is also a full sleeper… big enough for all 330 lbs of aunt Betty. With two full size captain’s chairs, you and you co-pilot will be the kings of the road. And for those extra passengers, above the cockpit is a full bed that lowers to just above the captain’s chairs (only to be used when vehicle is parked). What’s that bump in the night, that’s just uncle Earl rolling off the bed in a drunken stooper and hitting his head on the steering wheel. He’ll sleep that off.

I know what you’re saying, “Morty, I am one with the environment, is it a hybrid?” Well hippy, no it’s not. But we thought about gas mileage. Our designers worked with the crack engineers at “Bob’s Discount Aerodynamics” to come up with our unique “tilt-in” windshield. Coupled with the brick wall for a front end, gas sipping 440 and whopping 3 speed transmission, this petit mistress will chug gas faster than the late Ted Kennedy’s liver can process alcohol. And to keep you going, we’ve installed a 55 gallon main tank and a 25 gallon auxiliary tank that are guaranteed to make you miss a house payment each time you fill up. And best of all, we estimate the emissions alone will kill 10 birds, 2 stray cats, 1 ferm tree and give one lucky tolder asthma each year.

"But Morty, we like to go where there’s no power." Well, just fire up the on board 4000 Watt generator and still enjoy all the utilities. Rest assured, Bubba, your little lady can still serve you a molten lava Hot Pocket and ice cold beer while you cheer on your favorite Nascar driver (RIP #3) from the infield or tailgate at the local Lynard Skynard concert.

So pack up the kids, tie the dog to the bumper and hit the open road!

***Some assembly required, batteries not included

[legomybago]

 :)rotflmao

Great intro...

[Oz]

This is what I love the best... the story of how members fall in love with their previously enjoyed, vintage RV. 
It's like marriage... just like it...

 

[joanfenn]

 

[LJ-TJ]

  Good to have you aboard mate. We can always use someone with a sents of humor because as you'll learn you have to have a sents of humor to own one of these old girls. But  you do get attached to them. Great write up. :)rotflmao

[cosmic]

WOW. if you put that much effort into keeping her running and looking great, I have no doubt she will last another 40 years. Welcome to the group.  love the avatar.

[JDxeper]

Kool!

[Stripe]

 :)rotflmao

[M & J]

Gravy!

[DonD]

Welcome OMP.

[moonlitcoyote]

Welcome Old man Powell, I absolutely love your write up.

[ClydesdaleKevin]

Love it!  Welcome aboard!

Kev

[OldEdBrady]

Why is everyone amused?  The guy is only telling it how it is.  (As I sadly recall the old days with the Whiny Beggar_  And YES!  I'm still mourning her loss.

[HandyDan]

I wish I could write like that.  It reminds me of the book version of "The Long, Long, Trailer".  If you have not read it, it should be required reading for every RVer.  I know, I know, you've already seen the movie, but as they always say, the book is way better than the movie.  (The movie is only a small portion of the book).
Welcome aboard from the Aluminum Squadron of CWVRV

[Stripe]

Did I forget to say Re-Welcome? 


Dan, I just watched Lucy and Desi in that movie not more than a few days ago.. 
And as soonas I send that dvd back, I get the next one from netflix of UFO (Cool series from 60's)

[M & J]

Be sure to rewind before you send it back Stripe.....

[Old Man Powell]

It's such a pleasure to be a member of this forum. Great people... great info.. great stories!

[Stripe]

Heh, you ain't seen nothin' yet....

[M & J]

Just watch out for the weird people... ^^^aint ^^^naming ^^^^no ^^^^ names ^^^ though. W%

[Stripe]

  W%

[ClydesdaleKevin]

Whoa!!!  Wait a minute!  There is a BOOK titled the Long Long Trailer?  I want to read it!  Author and publisher please?...lol!

Kev

[Stripe]

http://www.amazon.com/THE-LONG-TRAILER-CLINTON-TWISS/dp/1179010329

[HandyDan]

If you don't mind reading it on your computer, this is a good download of a pdf version.

https://archive.org/details/longlongtrailer001201mbp

[ClydesdaleKevin]

Downloading it now...hopefully...while I do other things online...lol!

Kev

[Jodibird]

Hello there  !